But... What is self-love

EARTH BEAUTY
Jan 5, 2023
3 min read

Updated: May 9

Hugging myself while watching my favorite shows and eating my favorite food...

Perhaps that's what it is for you. Each of us has our own version of what self-love means to us because each of us takes care of ourselves differently. It is imperative that we take care of our mental health in these unprecedented times, and self-acceptance is also very important.

Although these two concepts are closely related, there is a difference between them. A person who accepts themselves unconditionally accepts their good, bad, and ugly aspects. The first step in loving ourselves is to identify the parts of ourselves we deem ugly. What do you not like about yourself? In order to embrace ourselves wholeheartedly, we must stop judging ourselves harshly, and the moment we do this, our self-esteem will also increase. You will be happier if you accept yourself more. It is only possible to love ourselves as much as we believe we deserve.

What Self-Love Really Means (and Why It Starts With Your Inner Child)

Want to know a powerful way to level up your self-love? Take a little trip back to childhood—not the cartoons and cereal part (though we do love a good Saturday morning vibe)—but the messages you received growing up. The ones you didn’t realise were shaping how you feel about yourself right now.

Ask yourself:

What beliefs were planted by your parents or caregivers?
Did you feel accepted as you were?
How did they respond when you were upset, proud, scared, or just... being you?
And how did that make you feel? Did you shrink? Did you rebel? Did you learn to perform for approval?

The truth is, the way we were parented is often how we “parent” ourselves today.If love felt conditional, if you were overlooked, punished, or expected to always be the "good one", those patterns don’t just vanish when we hit adulthood.We internalise them. And unless we consciously choose otherwise, we repeat them—with ourselves.

So, What Does Self-Love Really Mean?

It’s not all candles and bubble baths (though we fully support both).Self-love is gritty. It’s intentional. It’s about reprogramming the way you treat yourself.

It’s:

💬 Speaking to yourself kindly—especially when you mess up.🙅‍♀️ Stopping the people-pleasing cycle because your worth isn't tied to how useful you are.🚧 Setting boundaries that honour your energy, your time, and your peace.🧠 Knowing what you feel, want, and need—then choosing actions that honour that, even if it’s scary.🫶 Forgiving yourself for past mistakes and remembering: you are not your worst day.

It’s about saying: I deserve better than the criticism I inherited. I deserve to thrive.

Self-Love Looks Like…

Choosing a salad and chips—because balance.
Taking a walk in nature because your body is craving calm.
Turning off your phone because you're overstimulated and need quiet.
Booking the massage, the facial, the solo lunch, the “treat yourself” spa day—without guilt.
Letting yourself rest, even when your to-do list is giving you the side-eye.
Saying “no” and not explaining yourself.
Saying “yes” to joy, even when it feels indulgent.

You Are Allowed to Heal

Healing is a process, not a Pinterest aesthetic.It’s not always pretty—but it is powerful.

Real self-love is about being kind, patient, and gentle with yourself—even on the days when you don’t feel very loveable. It’s about checking in with your body, your mental health, and yes, even your spiritual self.